Ive thought about this long and hard and I guess its time i just spit it out before it eats me up from the inside out. I'm writing this because on a day where my life should be glowing its dark and Im very sad and hurt and upset with a lot of things in my life. Hello and welcome to my world. I'm not perfect Ive done lots of things wrong in my life what everyone seems to forget is Ive done lots more things good and right in my life. I married a man I thought I loved and could make his life better when i was 21 . That marraige was a huge error of judgement on both our behalves . I believe both he and I knew it. We toughed out a relationship I guess neither of us wanted to be in and had between us 6 absolutely positively gorgeous children . And for this reason I don't have regrets . I learnt a lot about who I am and who I wanted to be . I also learnt a lot about the perfect man the man I went on to become friends with and eventually start dating and fell totally and completely "IN LOVE " with. I don't regret my past and I certainly don't regret my children on this everyone can be assured Since being with my perfect man .... a man who has faults a man who doesnt claim to be perfect and doesnt lie about who he is or what he wants. Yes I'm talking about Rob the man that in exactly two weeks I will be marrying. He treats me like his queen, he loves me , respects me, and he loves my children. We have two beautiful children together whom we all adore. I raised six children almost on my own and did the best I can, which now it seems like it just wasn't good enough or thats how it feels. I spent almost three whole months depressed not long before I went out on my first date with Rob . Whilst I was in this state I should mention I couldnt work ...like i said i was raising six children alone, my ex was in Queensland and still causing trouble and a lot of the time reversing charges on phone calls so he could talk to the kids which put me in even greater debt and all the time he was doing this he was still claiming child payments for his share of at the time arranged custody which he never had the children . And just to top the whole situation off my parents werent in the same state they were caravaning around at the time and nothing suited some family members better ....you know instead of coming and even VISITING so they knew what was going on they decide to call the police and DOCS which btw didnt help DOCS dont take your kids away from you for having a messy house. My children were well fed , they went to school every day and were bathed etc ....pretty much all my own depression led to was a really messy house and a lot of bills i was struggling to manage. And in the end the ONLY person who came and tried to help was an Aunty and Uncle who Im not close to they spent a couple of days helping me get my life in order or kinda . The rest of the family never came near me for almost half a year it was just me and my six kids thats it nothing or no one else. Except for the calls we got from my Mum or Dad to say g'day. My family couldnt contact me or see how i was coping but they found it in their hearts to contact my ex of all fucking people and tell him i wasnt doing the right thing .... How the fuck would they know they never come anywhere near me so they can go hang !!!! This is part of the reason I took a good long look at who my family was Rob and i started dating and moved in with each other and my life has never been better. The kids Dad who suffers from depression would ring because he missed the kids so Rob and i would jump in the car and drive the kids at our own cost to see their father ...we would get there drop kids off and within an hour he would ring and ask us to come get the kids....a wasted trip in reality but i was trying to do the right thing .... obviously my right thing wasnt good enough but ya get that. My kids had respect , they had manners and they had what they needed and lots of love . Theyre not like that anymore .......... The only time a lot of people ever come near us is to give presents to kids for birthdays etc and this has taught my children to only want to see people if they are getting something from them and it sickens me . I am going to fix that though I am requesting that gifts no longer be purchased for my kids. This is going to piss a few people off but Im their mother and i think what they do is wrong .... its not an option its a demand but nicely of course. My children arent toys and theyre not stupid . My older six children only have one set of grandparents they dont know my ex's parents and they have never been in the kids life so they only class my parents as Nan and Pop. The kids father has recently come back into their life after several years of almost non existance ...part of which he spent in jail and its caused nothing but trouble . the kids are lying making up stories to both parties trying to win favours spinning shit its driving me frigging nuts. I know i should ring my ex and set it all straight but lets face it i dont think i should have to explain myself or anyone else for that matter especially to him. The kids are healthy , happy and loved ....not to mention a lot spoilt and messy. So now Im sitting here just now after just being informed one of my children doesnt approve of my marraige to Rob ...(the man who helped me raise her feed her clothe her) and shes only going to the wedding because we're making her????? I'm not making anyone in fact if you don't approve of me marrying the only man I have ever loved , the only man who has ever loved me , respected me and my children ...then its simple DON"T fucking come. Stay home in your miserable little life , make all the lies and excuses you feel you need to to warrant what you are putting me through keep calling you're Daddy """" but while you do this remember who taught you fear who taught you that when he had a drink or drugs to hide or stand against a wall in fear trembling til you wet yourself ....remember all the times he threatened that if i left or took you kids he would find us and kill us all.... JUST REMEMBER that I love you and watch yourself because it used to be my job and you and your so called father have taken that away now . to sum it up like i said I used to have kids who knew respect now it seems they all just want want want but never want to give back..... I'll miss that one child on our wedding day but shit happens i guess............ can tell hes back in our lives in some shape or form . I find it amusing that our lives have been fantastic happy and carefree and now look at it.Love and Huggles AusAngel / Renie

Mon - Thurs:

12:00 pm - 2:30 pm

6:00 pm - 8:00 pm

Fri - Sat:

12:00 pm - 2:30 pm

5:30 pm - 9:30 pm

Sun:

12:00 pm - 2:30 pm

6:00 pm - 8:00 pm

BECOME A FAN ON FACEBOOK HERE AND HELP GET US SEEN

should keep me out of mischief lol and less time to piss people off which I seem to be good at of late. People have to forgive me for being *out there * and a little moody the past two weeks Ive had a LOT to deal with lol and even more but Im sure real friends will understand those who dont well they dont know what we've been going through ;) Best be off cheers for now Looking forward to beer oclock pmsl !!!!

Like the white Rabbit Im late Im late lol BUT this lil kit was freaking hard..... has discovered I am not a fan of calab kits pmsl my brain doesn't like working how its told too !!!  Rather with what it comes up with so I admit its a quicky but still a cool little kit xoxox

Love and Huggles
AusAngel / Renie